[Moo] The Wedding Dirge Contest!

[Crystal Thurber]

This time of year seems to be important for a number of folks.  Just look
at the number of birthdays and anniversaries we have seen in the Barony
since the beginning of September.  With that thought in mind, I would like
to propose something I wanted to do two years ago, but I was a little busy
at the time.  I am sure that you are familiar with the infamous “Birthday
Dirge” (if you are not, you probably should familiarize yourself).  I think
it only natural and right that we also have a “Wedding Dirge” (which is of
course suitable for anniversaries).  With that thought in mind, I present
to you the first verses of the Wedding Dirge.  I say first verses because I
need YOUR help to complete the song.

Please send your verses of the Wedding Dirge to me OFF LIST at palfi (DOT)
jozsa (AT) gmail (DOT) com, with “Wedding Dirge” as the subject line.  I
will have *prizes* available for the three individuals who submit the most
(suitable, original) verses.  They need to be submitted to me no later than
October 28, 2013 (because, you know, my anniversary is the 29th).  Prizes
will either be mailed or delivered in person, depending on how easy it is
to reach you.  Once I have received all entries, I will type up and pass
around copies of all of the verses, so that we can all enjoy the Wedding
Dirge!  No worries, I won’t mention who submitted what verses, though I
suppose you may claim authorship of the ones you actually submitted.

Rules

·         Verses should fit the rhythm of the Birthday Dirge (as closely as
possible)

·         Rhymes are better than non-rhymes

·         Subject matter must be appropriate for general audiences (but of
course may reference adult scenarios, couched in amusing terms). Remember,
this is based on the Birthday Dirge.

·         Have fun (‘cause *if* you don’t, why bother?)



The Wedding Dirge

* *

*Chorus:
Getting married, UNH!*

*Getting married, UNH!*

* *

Now that you just said “I do”

all your philand’ring ways are through. * Ch.*



Now your money is all hers,
she will use it for a purse.  *Ch.*

* *

That charming woman you once knew
now she’ll turn into a shrew. * Ch.*

* *

Now you’ll live with her mother;

you should run and look for cover. * Ch.*

* *

Now you’ll have to eat burnt food,
best if swallowed, barely chewed. * Ch.*

* *

All your lies she’ll see right through,
then her lawyer comes for you. * Ch.*

* *

Of your love life you won’t boast,
once or twice a month at most. * Ch.*

* *

When your kids have eyes of blue,
better hope they look like you. * Ch.*




Love, Jozsa
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